Dealing with Hate?

[Bwolften]

Huuhhh… Hello young fur here. i was recently and am currently on the receiving end of some hateful and negative comments. i go to a private school (RIP) and the kids are generally nice. i received many anon emails from someone in my school expressing their true hatred for me and the fanbase. its very upsetting and is causing me stress. i was just wondering if any of you have any advice with how to get past this kind of problem. i know about the whole “don’t feed the troll” thing but im worried something might happen irl.

thanks

[SubeeFur]

Well I would say first, don’t let the simple minded bother you. Being a member of any subculture your back should be a river that washes away any hate you receive. If its just email, treat them like spam and delete them without reading. If the problem escalates to RL then get the school involved.

[Aerak]

I’m sorry to hear that this is happening. There’s this awesome point in life, once people grow up, where the majority of people figure out that it’s really boring if everyone is exactly the same and has the same interests – that diversity should be celebrated. Unfortunately you aren’t quite there yet with your peers. You’re at a point where people can be mean and really attack anything that doesn’t fit their definition of “normal” based on their experiences with their families and friends. Having been in this fandom for pretty much my entire adult life, it’s very normal – it’s just a geeky group of people, not really much different from any other fandom – anime, sci-fi, super hero, steam punk – just to name a few. The majority of people in this world are geeks of one form or another.

Once you are out of high school, your experiences with these sorts of people are going to drop by a lot. Every now and then you will meet someone who doesn’t agree with how you are living your life, or your interests, but that’s OKAY. You will find that the opinions that matter most, and in most cases the ONLY opinions that matter to you at all, are that of your family and friends. So be sure to surround yourself with as many amazing people as you can that empower and encourage you to live your dreams.

[Drake M.]

I am sorry that this is happening to you Bwolften and I hope this is something that does get resolved quickly.

The main item I want to express is to never let this specific person expressing their dislikes effect you to the point where it brings you down to a low point.  Every person in this world has their own viewpoints, beliefs, morals, opinions, the list goes on…Just know that you are great and unique in your own way and that’s what matters and that’s what makes YOU.  🙂

Being in a private school (or public), you are around many different students who all have their own views on themselves, other people, how they think they should act, and so on…It’s a big clash of everything and sometimes they can collide with others where conflicts arise.  People get intimidated by what they do not understand and some express themselves very negatively…I know this because I was there at one point too as I also went to a private school for several years.  I had my disagreements with other students and I had to deal with it in the most positive ways as available to me.

If this continues to happen I would talk to someone with your school staff and explain what’s going on.  I would also have them look at these e-mails and see what can be figured out.  In the end, I want this to end and you to be happy!

Let me know if you want to talk about this further at all.  🙂

~ Drake M.

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[Cyndyr]

Hi Bwolften,

I am so sorry, that this still happens in school. Like the others have already said, keep your head about you and stay above their low mindedness. You are doing an amazing thing for yourself by widening your world. That can threaten others who are jealous or small-minded. As you continue to explore your identity, you might find some help at https://itgetsbetter.org/about/ Yes, it is for LGBTQ+ people, but in the end it is about finding support while defining yourself whether it is a gender or furry thing.

Now, to these emails. You are worried that something might happen IRL. Two things, while I agree with Aerak that the SPAM folder would be an awesome place for them. I, however, would recommend putting them in their own folder. These are EVIDENCE that you are being bullied and experiencing hate crime. Both of which have laws to protect you.

Second, if this escalates to the point where you are fearing an imminent incident with said anonymous emailer, is there an adult at school or at home that can be your advocate? Someone who will fight for you? It should not be that hard, you should be able to go to the school and tell them you are experiencing this abuse and they should jump on it, but it does not always go that way. I want you to be successful in standing up for yourself and I think having someone in your corner no matter what will aid in that.

I believe that most people here have had similar experiences in school no matter the technology used. We are here to talk, vent at, and possibly give more advice. Please keep reaching out for support now, and soon you will get to leave them behind.

 

Cyndear

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Cyndyr

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[Tyrell]

Sorry to hear that. I got bullied quite a bit growing up in the 90s and I know how much it hurts.

I will second what Aerak said. When you’re older and especially when done with high school, this kind of stuff falls off a lot. I’m in my mid 30s and recently came out as gay. I had some friends and family members who did not treat me well for it. Unlike being in school, where I couldn’t avoid people that I didn’t like, I could now. I just cut them out of my life and surrounded myself with people who supported me for who I am. I’m open about who I am, from my sexuality to my furry side to my love of cartoons. It took decades to realize that I am wonderful just the way I am, and to be proud of that. That pride also means that I must respect and love myself, and that means not allowing people to bully me.

I don’t mean to say that you should just take abuse in school and you can’t do anything about it, but that things do get better in the future. That being said, you needn’t suffer now because you deserve to be treated with respect regardless of how old you are and what interests you have.

Firstly, I would report this bullying to your teachers and your principal. The school can’t do anything to help you if they don’t know about it. For me, this is like the HR department at work. I heard some homophobic comments at work, I told HR about it, and they told them to stop and they did.

Secondly, try and find some supportive friends to hang out with if you can. Being alone isn’t fun in any environment or age. There really is safety and support in numbers.

I hope this is of some use and comfort to you. If nothing else, please know that you’re a wonderful, fluffy individual that deserves love and respect. Even if you don’t see it now, people do and will love the genuine you.

Feel free to contact me if you want to talk.

• This reply was modified 6 years, 4 months ago by Tyrell.

Engineer by day, artist by night.

[Alucard]

What’s been said already is pretty much all that’s needed to be said. When you are out of high school, people who don’t like you are not worth your time and you can cut ties with them. Simple as that

[neevipanda]

You have my support as well :O) I just wanted to echo that and the advice to notify an adult at home and/or at school if you feel that your IRL safety is at risk. I would also consider notifying someone if this is a continuing situation spanning several days.

This kind of thing happened at my (private) high school… in the year 2000.  Anonymous online harassing messages that escalated to threatening real life violence at school against a friend of mine.  In that case, the school was notified and handled the situation

[Author]

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