Difficulties of meeting furries in person?

[Tundra Everquill]

So this is a thought that has been lingering in my mind since I left Migration a few months ago and I’ve only breifly talked about it in certain posts as I don’t really enjoy drawing drama towards myself without at least making it seem optimistic since I don’t particularly like attention. But this struck me a bit because I didn’t think this way before I went.

I first found out about what furries are “the fandom at least” when I was probably 14. I had always liked the ideas of sentient beings that we’re basically humans but cuter and more appealing to me as a kid especially considering how much I had animals, and considering how much I aspire for creativity and ideas I always wanted to be able to share that love with other people and I have for many years now online.

Now I am a very awkward person, thus making it difficult for me to meet people that I like and stay with them or at least be with friends long enough before things start to seem like I’m coming off as obnoxious or rude when I don’t try to be. On top of my horrible anxiety which makes me scared of crowds. So coming around to more recently I figured if there was anything that would have helped my fears and enlighten me if you will. Would be to find people in person that also like these things that I like instead of being exclusive to just online. So I did. I over came my reckless spending fought my way to plan things out so I could attend that con.

When I did I was so excited. Then I came and the atmosphere was surreal. To much for me to handle and my anxiety still got the best of me making it difficult to get acquainted with anybody so all I did was attend the events and buy some merchandise without really socializing with anyone. Not because that’s how I wanted it to be mind you but I suppose that regardless of what atmosphere I am in this just isn’t something I can help. It also doesn’t help that I made the mistake of not going with a friend but hey that’s a whole other topic lol.

So I suppose the point of this topic aside from me basically whining about my own phobia’s. Has anyone else felt this way when attending conventions? I guess it doesn’t have to be exclusively furries. This is an off topic post after all. If so has it driven you to the point of not wanting to attend any conventions or meet up’s without at least going with a friend first if at all? Or have you just endured it and continued trying to make friends anyway? How difficult is it for you folks and how have you handled it?

[Lucas ✌(-‿-)✌]

When I attended the spring picnic for the first time I was quite nervous. Being a tall 6’3 guy im quite shy myself. But I found that many of them are very friendly. In fact they were extremely nice and polite. My non-furry friends said they enjoyed it there, despite the constant freezing rain 😂

 

I like this group of people and would love nothing than to make friends here 😌

Lucas Thompson

[Speyeder]

I found going to Fur Squared was easier on me than the Fall Picnic. while it was really neat to finally make it to a Minnesota event, I found myself more watching than interacting. Granted I’m an introvert so honestly I did enjoy myself, but a convention where you can do other things and come back when you want as opposed to being “stuck” in one place.

Maybe in time I will get more comfortable with Minnesota events, It helps that I feel more comfortable making the drive now. I think for me though I will enjoy cons more at this point if for no other reason if I need to leave to recharge I can and come back later.

What can be so dangerous in a world where so many people are smiling?

chaoticravings.com

[Midnight]

It was kinda difficult for me at first. Especially back at Migration this year. It was my first furry con as well as the first time doing anything in the fandom. I really didn’t know anyone at all other than Jace at the time. It was kinda intimidating to the least. My social anxiety pretty much got the best of me that weekend for the most part but I at least got to meet some really nice people there.

The Fall Picnic really got me outta my shell after about an hour and a half after arriving. That was the day I got Clover, my rabbit character made by Aerak and Alkora’s Blue Rabbit Studios. It was my very first time fursuiting that day, so I was anxious at first. It did really help me out of my comfort zone and I did garner a lot of attention from what I’ve heard. Met a lot more of you guys than I did back at Migration and had a really fun time that day. ^_^

I still deal with social anxiety when meeting certain other furs for the first time, but it usually calms down after a couple minutes or so.

[Nomis]

Getting to know peeps online via Telegram, Ferzu, pounced, etc is what I’ve found works for me. You get to know someone online one on one and then you meet them at a meetup. Then you can use them as a safe place so to speak and branch out till you meet more and more people who resonate with you.

The other iffy method I’ve done is to just go to these things alone, there are no guarantees, just know your getting your face out there and the possibility of a connection. The more you go the more comfortable you’ll get, the more people will give you a chance. But ya take everything i say with a grain of salt since I really am not a people person, I wish I had a suit so I could just look pretty, be invisible, goof around and not talk to nooooobooodyyyyy ahahahahaahaha

 

[Tundra Everquill]

One of my canine friends told me that when I told them about my experience, and I suppose that’s to be expected. I just didn’t think to get to know anyone ahead of time because. Well to be frank I didn’t even know a site like this existed. Or rather that their we’re many furries in Minnesota at all because every forum or group I went to I have never met a single furry in Minnesota yet I’ve been active in the fandom for about 8 years. But then the other issue stemmed from what I had mentioned before that my impressions from what I’ve gained from other people’s experiences would be that I’d go there and everyone would be welcoming with open arms and it would have been much easier to get along with people, and I mean for some it was. But that still didn’t help because of my phobia of crowds despite me being in a atmosphere I should have been comfortable in.

But now that I’m aware that there is a bigger presence of other furred, feathered, scaled, etc. Friends out there that are actually near me and have knowledge of meet up’s, parties, and events. It makes my confidence a little bit thicker then I had before. I definitely wanna go to further events, rather it’s by meeting people on here or getting to know people there. Regardless of it being hard for me to put myself out there or not. It’s just difficult lol.

Anyway so far I’m liking these responses guys they make for a nice meal for thought but also give me some inspiration. I like having discussions like this. More down to earth and relaxed. 🙂

[Drake M.]

VIB113 wrote:

Has anyone else felt this way when attending conventions? I guess it doesn’t have to be exclusively furries. This is an off topic post after all. If so has it driven you to the point of not wanting to attend any conventions or meet up’s without at least going with a friend first if at all? Or have you just endured it and continued trying to make friends anyway? How difficult is it for you folks and how have you handled it?

My two cents as I will share experiences and place answers to your questions within!

Yes, I have very much felt this way, especially when I first moved to the cities back in 2012.  Not knowing anyone, not knowing what to expect, & not knowing what may or may not work out in new territories.  Attending a convention for the first time, at least for me, was not as nerve-wracking as attending my first MNFurs event (will talk about this soon).  I mainly took it as an experience on its own.  My first convention was Anime Detour and was volunteering so I was mainly busy.  =p

When I first discovered and joined MNFurs back in 2012 I did not know anyone except for a few I spoke to in the MNF chat room.  First event I attended was the Fall Picnic up in Vadnais Hieghts and that was my big moment where I had to tell myself that it’s all or nothing.  What I mean by that is I could either be quiet, observe, & just hang out by myself or just jump out of that shell and start socializing and see what happens.  I mingled in many crowds, introduced myself, & made small talk and it made me more at ease with talking to random people.  Eventually I ran into some of the people I spoke to in the chat room and hung out with these people.  This is where I really wanted to make more friends and figure out where I fit in.  At future fur meets and events I became interested in who the people are that help run MNFurs and fast forward to the present, I have great friends in my life as well as great MNF co-workers (MNFurs staff member) and a fiance (Norm and I met in the community).

For my difficulty levels it was hard at first, but for me when I realized that staying quiet would not help me make friends it made it easier to get out of my shell.

I hope I helped answer some of your questions and let me know if you want more clarification on anything said.

All of this being said, anyone is free to find me at a fur meet or event if they need someone to talk to, ask questions, etc.  😀

~ Drake M.

• This reply was modified 6 years, 6 months ago by Drake M..

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[Peter the Bear]

I totally get it. my first, and only event so far, was the spring picnic. before I went I was having second thoughts about everything, and when I got there everyone was crammed into a shelter that for some reason had a spilt in the roof going halfway down it. It took me two full hours to even talk to anyone, or even interact with anyone, and I’m usually a talkative person so it felt weird to be shy. I was actually gonna leave when someone started to talk to me, and it was obvious I was a little uncomfortable, plus being in the cold while it’s raining didn’t help, but they slowly broke down that shyness and when in half an hour I was smiling, joking around, and interacting with people and I had a blast afterwards.

It’s not bad to be shy or have anxiety because everyone has it in some form. bringing a friend along might’ve made it better, but going by yourself makes you actually really strong, and even if you didn’t talk to many people you still are strong for going where others would not dare.

[Sling]

I can definitely relate to this. My drive to the spring picnic was exciting, but when I actually got there, social anxiety kicked in. I sat in my car for maybe 10 minutes deciding if I wanted to walk to the gazebo or just go home. It was definitely awkward for me, and probably wouldn’t have gone if I wasn’t otherwise expecting a friend of mine I met at Furry Migration. I did meet someone else at the picnic who was also kind of a loner / drifter there, which made it somewhat easier to stay. Once my buddy showed up, things were much better and I felt like less of a loner.

It it also helps that my friend brought his dogs, which made socializing easier.

[Tyrell]

I totally understand that feeling, you two. The next time you are at a meet, let’s chat. Easier to feel anxious in a group, no?

Engineer by day, artist by night.

[Tundra Everquill]

Pretty much yea, I have a general phobia of crowds if I’m by myself that’s why I figured going to my first con would kind of help ease that a bit since I’d be with other people that can relate/be on the same page as me but despite what I believed that still hadn’t helped me combat my own fears in front of people. I just hate making terrible impressions with others cuz I think to much. Instead of letting go and enjoying myself. But at the same time as I mentioned before I made the horrible decision of going alone and not getting to know anyone prior. But now that I know people from this wonderful website of amazing furs and anything in between That’ll for sure help me get more comfortable around others when I go to the next meet. If your attending the bowling meet I’ll see ya there. 🙂

[Renton Whitetail]

I, too, felt a sense of reluctance when I first attended the local furry events many years ago. When I first went to the West Metro meets and the picnics, I was a little hesitant at first in how to approach the furs in attendance without coming across as awkward to them. A little at a time, as I got to attend more events and know more of the furs that were there, I began to come out of my shell, becoming less shy and a bit more outgoing. I had not found another fandom in which I could fully immerse myself in and feel like I truly belonged, for I had developed a really strong connection with the friends I have made in the furry fandom. Many doors of opportunity opened for me in terms of actually going out and being involved in the community, like participating in fursuit romps and bowling, doing volunteer work and attending local conventions. Over time, I got around to getting a fursuit of my own and my connections with other furs in the fandom (real life and online) grew and grew ever since. So it took a long time for me to gradually immerse myself into the furry community, and I’m glad I did. ^^

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