When Volunteering Ends

[Cybergarou]

This is an informational post. Since it is an idea that completely baffles some members of this community, I am going to explain the concept of people deciding they are done volunteering. I’m going to use myself as an example so that you have a chance to understand why I came to this decision, and hopefully so some of you can learn to respect my decision. My decision is connected to events that happened before, during, and after incorporation so I will be describing details of things I experienced or witnessed, but I’m not going to be mentioning any names connected with these events. (Although the people involved will probably be able to identify when I’m talking about them.)

But first, in general terms, why would somebody stop volunteering? After all, it’s good for the community and usually is good for the individual as well. The first thing to realize is that there are two levels of quitting when it comes to volunteering. Most commonly people quit on a temporary basis and rarely they quit on a permanent basis.

A temporary quit can be due to a numerous number of reasons, both related and unrelated to the group the person was volunteering for, but there are a handful of common reasons. These include exhaustion, conflict, change of interests, and unavailability. Usually when somebody is quitting temporarily, it is not because of a single big reason, but rather a buildup of little reasons that grate on the volunteer. And because of that, asking why they are quitting usually only serves to cause frustration as the person can’t give you a reason other than they have had enough.

A permanent quit is usually triggered by a specific event or chain of events. This is an extreme reaction and thus usually involves an extreme reason; such as an attack, conflict of moral values, and sometimes prolonged illness. Again, the reason can be internal or external to the group. However, in this case the fact that there is usually a single significant reason means that the person usually explains that reason when they quit.

Now for my specific explanation.

When I initially quit, it was supposed to be a temporary situation caused by a buildup of various reasons. The easiest to explain involves work. My schedule had changed and the result was that I had to go with very little sleep in order to attend meetings. Volunteering was beginning to affect my health and my job through a lack of sleep.

Also, I took a step back and looked around myself. What I noticed is that I didn’t enjoy myself anymore. I didn’t play games at the meets anymore because there were too many people I didn’t want to play with who wanted to play with me. The other events were always work for me and so I didn’t have time to enjoy them OR I had to work during the event and I simply wasn’t available. It got to the point where the only reason I was going anymore was to spend time with Lego, and I can get better quality time with Lego outside of the meets.

The last reason I decided to quit temporarily is a bit more complicated. Basically there were a handful of people that I was butting heads with during discussions. These people were getting into the habit of disrespecting me in order to make their points, and this was occurring more and more often. The incident that proved to be the breaking point for me was the email exchange that was setting up the time and location of the meeting where the board election was going to occur. (Although I had no idea that this was the case.)

Emails where going back and forth and the information was getting jumbled up. I stated that I couldn’t figure out what the current proposal was because it wasn’t clear what was the relevant information in my email program. The response I received wasn’t a clarification of what was the current information, but rather someone telling me I should be using a certain program. And then this person complained about how i was causing trouble just like another person they know who insists on using a particular program. Yes, somebody insisted that I use a particular program by complaining about someone who insists on using a particular program. I was so dumbfounded by this statement I didn’t even bother replying to it.

Eventually, I tried to get people to use a clear and concise tool for making this decision and getting the whole discussion wrapped up. I was told to shut up because “they” needed to make a decision right away. After that I knew it was time for me to walk away for a bit.

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